Math Lesson Please

One of my biggest, guilty pleasures in life is watching those trashy court television shows. It always ceases to amaze me how people are so willing to tell everything about....well...everything.

My mother had this saying about not airing your dirty laundry in public. So I was always hush hush about a lot of things. The last thing I want people to know is I'm my own cousin (watch for more details about this revelation in future blogs, unless my mom reads this) yet these people are willing to go on television and discuss their more than inappropriate behavior.

My favorite, above all other things, are those who are 1000% sure they know whose their baby's daddy. PAAAHHLLEEESSSEEEEEE.....go back to school and get a math lesson, a biology lesson, and see if they still offer abstinence and or birth control information in health classes.

Math was never my favorite subject. It took me three years to pass algebra. Then to add insult to injury, when I entered community college, I had to retake alegebra.....ugggghhhh. Somehow, with my literary as opposed to numerical mind (right side/left side of brain who knows...I have a hard enough time making right turns or left turns in the car), I know that 1000% is not statistically possible. If so then I want 1000% of my salary and not the 100% I've been getting. Hey...then I might even make the highest paid woman list (seriously doubt it but a girl can dream).

Of course, there are those women on these judge shows, who are 1000% sure (I believe one woman last week was 100,000% sure) that Mr. X is their baby's daddy, only to find out....aha.....he's not! DUH??? How did that happen??? MMMM....biology 101. (NO, I'm not gonna explain it to you. (Call Mrs. Barone, my Anatomy and Physiology teacher in High School) The last thing I would do if I had been sleeping around is go see Judge Joe Brown (Who has got to be the best television Judge in the History of Television Judges) and tell him I was sure MR. X was my baby's daddy. You know DNA don't lie!!! I would die from mortal humiliation to find out I was suing the wrong baby daddy for child support. I guess I would just have to come back with Mr. Y the next week. (After all, I can't get insulted enough by Judge Joe Brown) Sooner or later I have to find my baby's daddy.

I wonder where these women were when birth control, abstinence, AIDS and other STD's were discussed in health class? (probably under the bleachers with Mr. X, but I digress). I mean, after you end up with one unwanted pregnancy, shouldn't trial and error help you to learn how to prevent the next one? and the next? and the next?

Ok...I've ranted and raved for too long now. I'm missing Judge Alex.

Until next time...